Electric Parrot

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find how far one can go."
- T.S. Eliot

Life's pretty straight without me.

Sarah, 19.

Albury, New South Wales, Australia

YOU KNOW THOSE QUESTIONS YOU JUST WANNA ASK

“So, to me, good sex is just if I orgasm, but what if there’s even better sex than that, better than multiple orgasms, and I just don’t know.”

What I’m saying is, is there a better kind of sex out there?

It’s one of those questions you just don’t ask people you know?

But it MUST BE ANSWERED

I’ve spent the last few days contemplating…

If I was  to leave a suicide note, what would I write on it?

I seriously have no idea what I would write.

I think my want to have something profound to leave behind is one of the major things keeping me alive.

Also the fact that I have to feed my Aunt and Uncle’s cat. I don’t want to die just to be eaten by a hungry cat.

Answer this in my ask?

“If life is a game, is death winning or losing?”

I think knowing that my Aunt and Uncle’s cat is depending on me for survival right now is the only thing keeping me alive.

Stupid ideas.

I have plenty, tonight’s one was “Ok, I’m feeling really depressed, and actually thought about suicide earlier, not in the “I’m going to end it all now.” way but in the “If I were to leave a note, what would I write?” so, I was feeling quite down.

Then I decided “I’m feeling really crappy, so, let’s drink a bottle of wine and a bottle of cider and see how depressed we can really get.” Then I poured a glass of milk (after getting really drunk by sitting on the floor of the shower and drinking) and knocked it over spilling it on the floor I cleaned this morning, curled up on the kitchen floor, and cried… and I’m still crying.

I just want to catch a break. I’ve had enough.